| Little
Red
by Louis Christopher.
Once upon
a time (relatively) aeons and aeons ago, a young human female by the name
of Little Red Space Suit decided to take an E.V.A. through the stars.
She had spacewalked many times through this sector, and knew the way very
well; ‘Straight on to the belt of Orion, hard left a parsec or two
to Aldebaran, swing by the horsehead nebula and follow the trail of Halley's
comet’ to the space-station of her favourite relative: Progenitor
I, computer test tube baby factory.
Progenitor
I was getting old by now; what with advanced life extension drugs and
rejuvenation surgery, Little Red seemed very young to be wandering the
constellations alone. Gradually her life form sensors gave a strange reading,
and she had a funny calculation she was being watched. Unknown to her,
lurking near a black hole was a malignant entity; the Big Bad Android.
He followed her plasma trail through the vagaries of cosmic translation,
picking up her wavelength on sub-ether and postulating furiously. . .
he hadn’t assimilated human knowledge in several light years. But
when he made his presence known and suggested to her computer that it
guide her to his micro-electronics workshop, she rejected the data as
insufficient and cut in the afterburners… that soon saw him on his
way. Nevertheless the Big Bad Android knew a short cut sublight to the
Space station, and arrived there 14 milliseconds ahead of Little Red.
In this brief moment of temporal anomaly Big Bad hacked the central processor,
accessed the sensory systems and set up in disguise as the processing
plant itself. In the blink of an LED Little Red beamed in, with an offering
of software and uranium for her esteemed ancestor.
“Thank
you, no. 47” replied the Big Bad Android, shielding his speech circuits
with patterns like the computer's V.C.O.
Something aroused Little Red Space Suit's human paranoia response pattern
and she couldn't help commenting;
“My circuit, what big diodes you have, Progenitor.”
“All the better for sorting information, my dear.” it said.
“And what a large resolution display"
“All the better for Interfacing, more user friendly''
“And RAM capacity, I didn't know you could store so much."
“All the better for remembering things" said Big Bad, becoming
mildly irritated by the human’s lack of tangential logic.
"Not to mention your motor functions, I don't remember such efficient
gears and cogs, oh ancestor." said Little Red, clearly double checking
her detection routines.
Big Bad Android
was nervous now, and nearly crashed, but bypassing the logic loop he answered
quickly;
“A new development... why not come a little closer and have a look?”
Now Homo
Sapiens had not come to dominate the astroverse by stepping lightly into
the trap of any old sentient being, and Little Red hit the emergency teleport
button on her wristcom saying; “You're not my computer test tube
parent.”
How right she was.
And the moral of this tale? A Computer is only as foolproof
as its programmer.
©
Louis Christopher 1999
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